Season's Greetings and Where Boundaries Begin
Season's Greetings and a lesson in autonomy. The importance of creating a world where kids feel safe to express their needs.
Maria Soriano
12/23/20241 min read
Once upon a time, in a little snowy town, little Clara was dressed in her most beautiful outfit and her parents were happy and excited to take her to see Santa Claus. In the moment they entered the grotto, Clara's heart sank. That voice, that "ho ho ho" and the vision of a big man in red, overwhelmed her. She got tears in her eyes, but would not cry. She believed that she had no choice, and her parents were so happy and proud to see her meet Santa, that she did not think that opting out was an option.
As she sat trembling on Santa's lap, her fear made her start to sob. Her parents were worried, but they still encouraged her to smile for the photo, considering this a part of the experience. And she felt powerless and unable to express her discomfort.
But imagine a different story. Imagine a world where children were taught that saying "no" was not defiance, but wisdom. If she had been taught that her feelings mattered and that she could opt out, she could have said "Mom, Dad, I don't want to see Santa". And in this imaginary world, her parents would have been kind and replied that it was okay not to. Instead of crying, she would have felt safe and her boundaries respected. She could have watched other kids from the distance or even chosen to join in later, when she felt ready.
But what happened in this alternative reality could have planted a seed, a belief that her voice and feelings really matter, and perhaps she would carry that belief into every relationship and decision she made in the future, shaping a life of self-awareness and feeling respected.
She was allowed to say "no" to Santa.
Wishing you a very happy holiday season and hoping that 2025 brings you closer to your dreams of self-actualization, fulfilment, and growth.
May it be a year filled with authentic connections. 🎄✨
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Maria Soriano has worked for Kingston University Faculty of Health, Social Care and Education; Heritage2Health; Four in Ten (SLAM-Maudsley Hospital LGBT organisation); ORTUS (Maudsley Learning), Merton MENCAP; Kingston Centre for Independent Living; Mind in Kingston; Quintessentially, Volunteer Centre in Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea: The West End Centre (Aldershot): Bloomsbury Clinic Patients Network (HIV specific); Queen Mary’s Hospital; St George’s Hospital; Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea; Refugee Action Kingston; The Fircroft Trust; Kingston Arts; Age UK, the RA MA Institute - The Aquarian Women's Leadership Society, and the British Red Cross, amongst others.